on pity and fear.

Pity.  It is clearly etched into those grey-blue eyes along with a hint of something else. Fear, perhaps.  I won't ever know.  Traveling down from her eyes I find a small, pointed nose, slightly too-thin lips, a canopy of blonde curls, a dainty string of pearls peeking out from under a pale, woven scarf, purple button-down coat and tiny, white mittens gripping the metal bar to a stroller. The baby inside did not fear me.  There was no pity in it's eyes, no apprehension in its stare.  It did not grow uncomfortable with my lingering gaze, as its mother had.  It was the first time in a long time I hadn't been looked at like a walking, living piece of the streets.  The first time in a long time I had been looked at like a human.  A somewhat wild movement from above the child's head caused me to look up at the woman again.  The green paper rectangle waved at me from within her little mittens, begging me to take it and get lost.  By now, I know better than to think it was a gift of kindness, but rather a plea for me to not taint her New York stroll any more than I already had.  I do not want to think that only small children can truly be compassionate.  I do not want to think that incentive and personal-gain is all that motivates adults toward charitable acts.  But the streets of New York are discouraging.  Compassion is rarely found in the striking green against a white mitten. That is not what I am looking for, but who am I to reject this gift, regardless of her intentions?  Taking one last look at the small child who is still unscathed by society, I extend my hand and slide the green bill out of the white mittens and turn away silently.

did you succeed?

1. definition 

2. classification

3. compare and contrast

4. cause and effect

5. narration

6. example

the elusive definition of success.

1.  Success is different in many cultures and morphs and changes from time period to time period.  In the United States during the 50's, success was measured in having the right car, the right husband, the perfect family, and being the ideal house wife.  Now, most women in the United States would gag and be insulted by this measure of success.  Success is perceived differently by each individual depending on what they value most and shifts throughout the years to adapt to social norms.


2.  There are many types of success.  Success might the measured in social status.  So one might be successful in a particular social circle, but not elsewhere.  The most successful people are those who are known in all social circles such as celebrities or sports stars.  Success also might be measured in rank or position.  So, those who are higher ranking in the workplace are clearly more successful than those of a lower ranking.  Lastly, success can be measured in wealth.  The one with the least amount of money is clearly the least successful, right?  Trying to categorize and define success is almost ridiculous because success is something that is defined differently by everyone.


3.  Success must not be mistaken for wealth.  Success is subjective and can be defined differently by different individuals, whereas wealth can be measured as a great amount of money or property.  A wealthy person may not the same thing as a successful person, depending on what your perception of success is.  Success can also mean the attainment of wealth in certain situations, so it really depends on what your view of success is.  One might argue money is success, but others would disagree.


4.  Success is defined differently by each individual, but what happens after success is obtained?  If someone becomes successful, it is possible for them to use this success in either a positive or negative way. Success usually results in influence, influence may be perceived as power.  Because someone is successful, this means he or she has the power to change how others act and think and this provides as much danger as it does good as a result.


5. It was all for success.  When I was younger that A meant everything to me.  And so my success in school is accredited to my blatant lack of a social life, nights spent studying alone with diet coke and coffee spilled on my keyboard, and the awkward scrunchies my mom bought me to keep my hair out of my eyes during tests.  Success was measured in grade point average, or so I thought.


6.  Many would say that Steve Jobs was a successful man.  He, along with a few other people, founded Apple computer in the garage of his parents' home.  By 2010, he was worth 8.3 billion dollars according to Forbes.  But was he successful just because of his wealth or was he successful because he made a name for himself and because of the relationships he formed due to his creation of Apple?

what about us.

Mia Michaels: the most intimidating human being I have ever met.


Her name might not mean much to everyone else, but she is huge in the dance world.  You could say she has won a couple Emmy awards..  She was also a judge and choreographer for So You Think You Can Dance.  Anyway, I am taking part in Jump, which is a huge dance convention.  Dancers from all over travel to take classes with master teachers, such as Mia.


What surprised me the most about her is that she wasn't stuck up and annoyed about having to spend her weekend with teenage kids.  She was committed and seemed to genuinely care about us and what we wanted to get out of her class.  She taught us a dance to the song "What About Us" by ATB.  The song was really interesting and different and the choreography was amazingly difficult and rewarding.  In the middle of class, Mia stopped everyone and gave a speech.  Usually inspirational speeches just don't do anything for me, but for some reason hers really got through to me.  She talked about having an intention behind everything we do as humans.  She didn't say anything cheesy like "everything happens for a reason" but that is kind of the message that she got across.  We only had an hour and a half to learn an entire routine with her and she kept reminding us that we only had that small chunk of time.  At first I didn't understand why, but by the end of the practice I got that she was pretty much trying to say live in the present and commit fully to whatever it is you're doing.  She also used some analogy about a mountain and that feeling of anxiety we get before completing a difficult task.  For a person with a lot of trouble with anxiety, this was really relatable for me and it is going to change the way that I approach daunting, strenuous situations. 


Tomorrow I have to wake up and go back to the convention for another 9 hours, which is example number one of a daunting, strenuous situation. 


In addition to Mia Michaels, the convention hosted master teachers such as Bobby Newberry who has more sass in his left pinky fingernail than I have in my entire body.  He taught us a jazz routine that I am going to post a video of underneath this along with a video of some of Mia's work.

sick, man.

page 133.
Slang. It has always been part of the English language, and it is here to stay.  The phrases we use might become outdated or "lame", but slang is something that will always be around.  In fact, if you type "the history of English slang" into google, it will give you many websites filled with the awkward words we have used throughout the years like "gee-wiz!" and "gnarly".  


My friend moved to Arizona last year and I decided to ask him about any weird slang differences that he found between his new home and Minnesota.  The one that stuck out to me the most was that they say "ew" instead of using the ever popular "sick" that teenagers have integrated into their vocabulary. 


This inspired me to look through a website that provides "A Historical Dictionary of American Slang" to find slang words that are still used today, and also to just find some funny ones that died out over the years.  

• 1930's: "go bananas".  Even though this might not be used very often anymore, it is still pretty easily understood.
• 1970's: gave us the highly intellectual slang phrase, "in deep doo-doo"  Classic.  This decade also produced "siko" which is still used and understood to describe the creepy neighbor boys.
• 1960's: "out of sight"... what?
• 1860's: "swot". Apparently this means to study very hard.
• 1950's: "wedgy".. Nice.
• 1990's: "da bomb". I have nothing to say about that one.

Some of these phrases are easy to understand and others left me scratching my head.  Thank God the Historical Dictionary of American slang provided me with example sentences to sort them all out.

Some phrases have survived, but have just changed meaning.  For example, "swag" in the 1700's meant stolen goods or money.  Now, "swag" means appearance or the way in which a person presents his or herself. 


Some say that slang is damaging to the English language and that it shouldn't be used, but I personally don't think it is harming anyone.  Phrases come and go generation after generation and it gives each one a chance to describe the world in their own way.  That being said, there is also a time and a place for slang.  When writing essays for college admissions, it probably wouldn't be appropriate to say, "So dude, you should let me in your college because that'd be sick and out of sight.  I'd have mad swag on campus, plus if I don't get in, I will be in deep doo-doo with the rents. Peace out, man." Slang isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there is a time and a place in which it is appropriate to use it.

in a place that makes me happy.

My pre-writing rituals differ based on which type of writing I am going to be doing.  For me, there is a really big difference between writing papers for school and just writing for myself.  


When writing school papers, I tend to stare at a blank computer screen for almost an hour before actually writing something.  Then I will write my name and the date.. and stare at the computer screen for another an hour.  When I finally realize that I'm not going to get anything done anyway, I pretty much sprint down the stairs to make myself a cup of hazelnut coffee with the new single-cup coffee maker my mom just bought.. I might have an addiction to it.  After coffee, I decide that I need to get some fresh air.  I will either take a long walk or a run because for some reason this gets me really motivated to get a lot done.  My favorite time of year to run is during the fall because all of the leaves are changing on the trees by the farms around my house.  Running always puts me in a great mood and being in a good mood is essential for me to be able to do my best work.  When I finally drag myself up the stairs and into my room to write again, I realize writing an outline would probably be helpful.  Once I have planned out my paper, there is no stopping me. I don't let myself edit anything on my first draft because I am really critical of my own work and I would probably keep myself from making any progress.  After I finish my first draft, I let myself pick it apart and completely rework it.  By the time I turn in a paper, it looks and sounds nothing like the original draft.


Writing for myself is a completely different situation with a completely different set of rituals leading up to it.  Some people might call it journaling, but I honestly would just describe it as me keeping a record of my life.  I'm that girl who just wants new felt-tip pens and fancy notebooks for her birthday.  Last year, I got four new notebooks and almost 20 new pens for my birthday.. It might take me a while to use all of that.  To write for myself, I always drive out to one of two of my favorite spots.  They are both on the same lake, but I won't tell you which one because I want to keep them my little secret.  I take my shoes off, sit down in the grass or the sand, and dip my toes in the lake (unless it is winter).  Then I write.  Sometimes for hours, with breaks of course.  One of my writing spots has a patch of grass right near the water and two trees that trunks cross each other to form canopy above my head with their leaves.  I go there when I need peace, calm, and quiet and sometimes, inspiration.  My personal writing has  a completely different kind of ritual than my routine for writing papers.  


Here is a picture of one of my favorite writing spots on the 4th of July last summer. 

extreme makeover.

Have you ever seen one of those shows like Extreme Makeover or Biggest Loser? I think I witnessed one of those kinds of transformations over MEA.  Last year, my grandpa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and they told him he had a slim chance of living much longer.  When they began operating on him, they found that if they removed one of his kidneys as well as a large portion of his pancreas and gall bladder, he might have a better chance of surviving.  He now has to take pills before he eats anything because his body can't digest food on its own anymore.  I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to be so sick.  My entire dad's side of the family lives in New Jersey, so I didn't have a chance to see him until I went down to the shore house there this summer.  My sister had been living with my grandparents and interning at our family law firm over the summer, and she had told me stories about how different the surgery had made my grandfather.  He was irritable, angry, and had lost a lot of weight.  He struggled with the fact that he had prepared himself to die, and was no longer going to.  This is probably the hardest part for me to understand.  We have a loud, huge Italian family and we always greet each other with kisses and hugs, but when I saw him this summer, he wouldn't touch any of us.  He was too timid and afraid of getting sick because his immune system was so fragile.  It was very difficult to see him like this, because he is usually such an animated, engaging person.  When I left New Jersey, he was still very distant.  Over MEA weekend, I visited schools on the east coast.  My dad, my friend, and I stayed with my grandparents for two nights while we were there.  When I walked through the door, it was like I was seeing a completely different man.  He was welcoming and in very good spirits.  In three months, he had gained twenty pounds and looked much more like his old self.  It is amazing how a sickness like cancer can affect a person so much.  I am happy to have him back and am planning on getting really involved with programs like Relay for Life this year.  I never really thought it was my problem until I was affected by it.  This is my family's own little Extreme Makeover story.